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 March 2, 2009

Today is Angel Day. We have always called it Angel Day – we think of it as the day Maguire gained his wings. I could never bring myself to label this day in any other way. I used to mourn this day and find it difficult to find joy. My grief has changed, however and now I look at this day as a celebration of his life. This is not to indicate in any way that my heart no longer aches for his presence – it does. It doesn’t mean that my arms don’t long to hold him – they do. It doesn’t mean that my ears don’t long to hear his laughter – they do. It just means that I can look at what a gift I was given to be his mother for eight wonderful glorious perfect months. I can see how dramatically my life was changed for the better because he was with me for the entirety of his life. And even though his life was short – the effects of his life live on through so many people. One of my favorite quotes is this: “The miracle is that one little life can change so many others”.

I am continually blessed by people telling me how they have been affected by the story of his sweet little life. It is difficult to call his a little life anymore…short yes, small or insignificant because of duration, no, actually quite the opposite. I think he lived very full during his life and enjoyed his family without fail…which is probably difficult for many of us to say the same.

For those who had the privilege of knowing my baby while he was alive, you were no doubt happier in his presence. He was ALWAYS smiling. He was so happy. I remember one time he got sick…actually puked…and then looked up at me and smiled. Like “no worries, mom, I’m good.” He had the best little personality and would smile at everyone that came into his line of sight. One of his smiles was absolutely contagious. Even when strangers saw him smile – they couldn’t refuse to smile back…and even laugh. He just brought joy. And when he laughed – well that sound was purely musical and it melted your heart. He loved and adored Jaxon and Truman. And they loved him. We were constantly blowing bubbles to see his face light up or playing on the floor of his room with all his toys. He was so loved. And he is so missed.

Today, I ask that you help us celebrate Angel Day. In honor of his character – I ask that you do something completely unexpected and kind to another individual. Could be a loved one, your child, a total stranger – anyone. Just do it with the memory of Maguire in your heart. I asked this last year and was blown away by some of the emails I received about the random acts of kindness my friends and family bestowed upon others. One of my favorite stories came out of Springfield, MO. A friend of mine stopped in a local coffee house and left $20 to pay for all the coffee for the people standing in line behind her. She told the owner it was in honor of someone special. He later told her that people were so touched they kept it going and people kept paying for other people’s coffee for a long time after she left. I was so touched by the way kindness grew that day – on one little small space in the world, because of my son. What you choose to do doesn’t require money – just kindness, an extra game with your child tonight, extra hugs, extra kisses, extra hugs, or bubbles! If you choose to share your experience with me – I would be honored to hear it.

We are going to the cemetery to release balloons for Maguire. We do this every year and the kids really enjoy watching them fade up in the sky – towards their brother. Thank you for sharing the specialness of this day with me – the celebration of his life. I have already been greatly touched by the outpouring of emails and messages. My life is so much better because you are a part of it.

My heart goes out to you all,

Sincerely

Momma (aka Dawn)